Getting Cheated On In Relationships

What was it like to be in love? Did the heavens sing and butterflies flutter inside your tummy? Did you get the chills every time they touched you? Do you remember the weather the day you fell in love? Did you smile just thinking about everything that it would be like to be with them? Did you feel that everything is finally making sense to you? Until it did not anymore. You still feel all of these but for very different reasons. A lot of things can go wrong in relationships but getting cheated on really stands out for me. An incident that makes you question yourself why you weren’t good enough is a feeling all of us would like to be spared. 

Feeling Empty

Relationships are built with trust and love and when one of them decides on the other, the foundation of the whole thing stands at trial. It’s not just in relationships but when you invest quite a lot in something, you expect a form of reciprocation, a value that it can add to your investment. With relationships, it can get tricky since you are investing a huge part of yourself into it, and a lot of the other things that are important to you such as your time, your effort, your energy, and so much more of yourself. Your mind, body, and heart is in that thing. When someone seems to not just ignore that but actually give the same reciprocation to someone else, it is natural to feel let down.

Why Did It Happen To Me?

The only thing to remember every time you ask yourself this question is that this is not about you. There are several reasons why people tend to cheat. Habit, lack of respect for the other person, losing the spark in the relationship, lust and even, just for fun but none of those reasons include the “person” they cheat on. Moving on from something like this can get tough but there’s one thing you should remember- it’s NOT on YOU that you got cheated on. It’s on them. 

What Can You Do To Get Over It?

This question only arises if you decide to hold your dignity high and walk away from the relationship rather than forgiving and staying in it. Honestly? I want you to go through with it. Absorb everything you feel, cry it out, hug it out. Healing is important and to heal, one needs to go through the whole process. The more you avoid it, the more suffocating it gets. Let go of all the toxicity and negativity that the situation induces in you. Go over the things again and again that reminds you of them and that hurts you until it does not anymore. Leave no weak points behind for them to crawl back in. But, lastly, forgiveness. It’s important that you forgive them even if they never asked for it. Forgiving will help you slowly let go of them and not harbour any negative feelings

Getting cheated on is a personal experience and I understand what I say might not make things better for you. But, for all of you, who have given a part of yourself to someone with a massive amount of trust and had it handed over to you all crumpled and burnt, you are stronger than what you are feeling right now. Again, it’s not on you. It is on them. 

Also, don’t be afraid to fall in love again. 🙂

To get a glimpse of how amazing you can be, check this out!

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Comments

  • Tawana Zendera says:

    Great read, it’s hard getting cheated on and when it happened to me it taught me a lot about myself and my resilience. It also taught me forgiveness and how weak the human spirit is. I lost a little innocence but I gained wisdom that makes dealing with the little annoyances in relationships a lot easier

  • Kristine-wc says:

    This is beautiful. It’s hard to forgive but in time you’ll learn how to once you heal. It’s normal to feel sad, betrayed, and angry when you experience to get cheated on, but don’t let it consume you.

    This very well-written and I think this will help a lot of people who experienced the same.

    – Kristine
    https://www.warmandcozybykristine.com/

  • Natasha MacFarlane says:

    Wonderful post. I can’t imagine going through something like this but I definitely agree to not be afraid to fall in love again.

  • Samantha Guerrero says:

    Great post! I think it’s so important to put yourself first in these situations as it’s often easy to blame yourself! Couldn’t agree more with you here😊

  • Dr. Vador says:

    Relationships are tricky. You have to take time to truly understand your partner, inside and out. Especially the side of them that they chose not to show. It is ok to fall in love again, but always keep your head on a wiggle.

  • Adam says:

    Interesting read. Happily for me I don’t have any experience in this situation.

  • Priya says:

    This article is so powerful. Unfortunately a lot of us have been there at some point. The worst is when you’re made to believe time and again that the faults are in you and somewhere in that broken state you tend to believe it. It took me a long time to believe that it really wasn’t me. He would have cheated anyway no matter how I was. Wish I had this article at that time. You’re doing a great job❤️

  • Blogger5356 says:

    Heartbreak is tough

  • Token Artist says:

    There are a few other reasons for why people might cheat, which in no way am I condoning: sex addiction; low self-esteem and self-loading, whereby only external validation cannmake them feel better; in ability to form relationship bonds; unable to feel love; and past truma. There’s probably loads more, but you get the idea

    But whatever the reason, it rarely has anything to do with the person they’re cheating on, unless that person is abusive

  • Unwanted Life says:

    It’s never the fault of the person being cheated on, if the other person wants to be with someone else, they should just end the relationship first

  • Drea says:

    Having been cheated on before, everything you said hit close to home. I truly believed that it was my fault they cheated, but you’re absolutely right, it had nothing to do with me, it was all on them. It’s sad that even after all these years, I still felt it was my fault, and even now, I’ve let fear of it happening again steer my actions in my relationship. This post is truly eye opening and very well written. Thank you for sharing!

  • Em says:

    I think it’s so important that you’ve mentioned it isn’t the fault of the person cheated on – you are 100% right! It’s such a hard and personal thing to go through, and as you’ve said, it’s best to experience it, cry, get angry, whatever is needed to process the emotions that come with it.

    Em x

    http://Www.emsworldblog.com

  • Jayla says:

    Such a nice post! Really enjoyed the peace on moving on and advice on looking forward!

  • Ardi says:

    Getting over it! That is the hardest part

  • Tiffany says:

    I have never been cheated on, to my knowledge, but my dating experience before finding my husband was quite limited. I imagine that when you put so much love, effort, and trust in to someone you care about, that such an act of disloyalty would break your spirit and cause you to doubt everything. Trust is the foundation to any relationship, and in a situation where you are so intimately involved you become vulnerable. I love how you remind everyone that when you are cheated on it isn’t through any fault of your own. Even if the relationship is on a downward spiral there is no reason why the cheater could not have done the honorable thing, faced those challenges, and was honest about their desires and intentions.

  • Joey - concealedvoices.com says:

    I’ve been in this situation before and it was a horrible experience. The only positive I got from it was getting my time back from someone who never valued it.

  • Melissa Kacar says:

    This advice is so helpful and something I know so many will be able to benefit from. Thanks for sharing!

    melissakacar.blogspot.com

  • Philippa Claire says:

    This is so true. It’s a horrible thing to go through and you’re right, it isn’t on you it’s on them. This is some really useful advice, thank you for sharing!

  • Sachin says:

    “It’s important that you forgive them even if they never asked for it. Forgiving will help you slowly let go of them and not harbor any negative feelings.” I think this is the first time I have actually read where a person is pushing others to forgive someone who cheated on you.
    And it’s a wonderful message to push towards your viewers. A beautiful read as always! <3

  • I'm All Booked Up says:

    Trust and communication are most important in a relationship.

  • Giulia says:

    Worst experience. It’s so harmful to your self worth, but you are right, it’s on the cheater, not the one who was cheated on.

  • Thebusyshelf says:

    Lovely written 🙂 I haven’t been through this so I maybe what i say is really not relevant, but I definitely agree with what you said, to go through it. This applies to every single traumatic episode in our lives, really. It’s not good to bottle everything up inside, feelings were meant to be felt.
    I loved it when I was having a discussion with a friend and I told her I had so many feelings about something. She looked me in the eye and told me ” call each of them by their name”. And I was taken aback because she was the first person ever to tell me to acknowledge each feeling I have, let it come over and then pass.

  • Tanish Barnwal says:

    Love a very complex state of ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ᴀɴᴀᴛᴏᴍʏ and the totally opposite way cheating is way harder to understand, but the honest way you applied to make us understand by giving perfect epitomes, i do really like your way, you are way greater than an appraise. And I do honour your potential talking about personal intimate life which is not easy in prevailing time. And keep believing in love, ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏᴜʀs ᴏғ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ɪɴғɪɴɪᴛʏ, ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪs ɪᴍᴍᴇʀsᴇ ɪɴ.

  • Jen says:

    Being cheated on is awful. Idk why people do it, but it’s happened to me before. Kindness seems like a lost art sometimes!

  • Randomness says:

    “It’s not just … ‘reciprocation’, a value that it can add to your ‘investment.’

    ‘With relationships, ..investing a huge part of yourself into it, and a lot of the other things that are important to you such as your time, your effort, your energy, and so much more of yourself”

    When you are considering love as an investment, we should always remember that investments are subject to market risk. So, either you should consider this as an investment and accept the outcomes else, we should change our believe in love and relationships.

    I too had my part of life, but then why to bound love with expectations and hope. The higher the expectations, the more you impose the restrictions .

    If you love someone, love him or her without expectations. Love strengthens, Lust weakens a person.

  • Lora Lipsa says:

    The emotions were chronologically expressed♥️Wid no use of hifi words,The entire piece was simple,subtle and touching.❣️You write amazing,Girl♥️

  • Amiya Ranjan Pattnaik says:

    So true words of yours.Hope everyone understand the true meaning of relationship.

  • Tanya says:

    Nice one! People really need to respect each other in a relationship and should appreciate each other’s existence.

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