Mini-me was really just a complicated version of the present-me. Lots of “what ifs” always surrounded me like a swarm of bees and I would take the time and the solitude to carefully dissect everything. Overthinking has always been my greatest superpower and I would definitely find myself playing episodes of Fantasyland in my made-up channel. I found solace in books and calm in my thoughts. My younger self was mysterious and in some ways pretty mature for her age.
Anyhow, as I grew up, my fascinations reduced to all the worldly errands that I had to be a part of. I stopped writing (which was my most favorite thing to do). I stopped dreaming. What did not stop was my overthinking. But these thoughts were mostly negative and I really got annoyed with how things turned out after that. I lost all my self-confidence. I started feeling unworthy; a vast emptiness shrouded me but I could not figure out what it was. I became cantankerous but only with my emotions within, and became petulant and honestly, it bothered me. I tried to fill that void with bad relationships but in vain but struggled to locate what the problem was until I started writing again.
Now that I think about those times in retrospect, I wonder if I could have made it a little easy for myself. I was so inured to being sad all the time that I hardly found any respite from being mentally exhausted. I wish I were not so hard on my younger self.
So, here are a few things I would like to make a note of, for anyone going through a tough time when we usually forget to remind ourselves of how amazing we are!
There are some things that are not in your control.
You can think all you want but can you change anything? You have to accept that there will always be a few things in life that you have absolutely no control over. In times likes those, just make sure you are doing your best, and letting it go for good. Neither you can change anything nor you can make it better.
In times like these, I want you to remember that you have certainly given it your all and you are letting it go. Whatever happens, happens.
People will not always mean what they say.
I have always remained a believer. I still am. However, I have been too trusting sometimes, and that is on me. But, is it that bad a thing? Not really. What you have now is a blessing. Understanding and trusting people is not something you should be ashamed of. But, understand that there will be times people will not live up to your expectations even though they had set that bar there themselves. You will often find yourself disappointed in people but that’s okay.
When someone breaks your trust and makes you feel stupid, remember that it is not you. It is them. Stop putting people on a pedestal. If they hurt you in any way, that’s on them. You are, in no way, to be blamed.
When you feel lonely in a crowd, don’t be scared.
The number of friends you have will not be equivalent to how less lonely you feel. There will often be times when you are laughing with your friends, playing Jenga or eating donuts and you suddenly feel alone. Don’t be scared then.
You are your own soldier. Know that your happiness is not defined by how many friends you have or do not have. You define your own self-worth and live up to it. Do not let any number of people fix that for you.
People will talk sweet to you, do not get swayed away.
When your mother tells you to beware of those people who talk really sweet and lure you in, get your guards up. Understand the difference between people who love you and people who are trying to win you. Be nice, but do not let people take advantage of you.
Not everybody wants the best for you. Not everybody has good intentions behind the things they do for you. Learn the difference. Set your principles straight and do not make any exceptions for anyone at all.
Life’s too short to crib about the small things.
Life is really going to throw some lemons at you. What do you do? Let them hit you, absorb the pain, put some ointment and move on! There is only so much stomach to drink lemonade all the time.
There is only so much you can do. You give your best and leave the rest. Life is a curvy and bumpy road. Not everything will go as you planned it. So, instead of cribbing and wasting the time that you really have left on this beautiful planet, try letting it go as soon as possible.
You are your own priority.
Stop putting others first. Especially, when something hurts you or someone tries to pull you down, and use you as a path to reach somewhere, stop being that stool for them.
You do not have to go through hell to make others feel blessed. Look after your own self first. You really do not HAVE TO do anything unless you really WANT TO. If something hurts you, back off. Let go. Prioritize yourself above all else.
Here’s a little tip:
WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING IS FALLING APART, REMEMBER THAT IT IS NOT.