All fear boils down to one obvious thing- fear of change. Change in the dynamics of your relationships, in the way you choose to live, or in your belief system- basically, everything that we are scared of involves a change in one form or the other. Are you scared of losing someone? Think about it. It will lead to you changing your patterns. You relied on them, talked to them. Now, you have to take that arrow and place it on someone else’s heads. That is change. You are scared of living alone? It’s because it will alter the way you were accustomed to living hence, this new plan scares you.
Well, now that we know change, in one form or the other, scares us, all of us, there’s nothing to feel ashamed about, is there? It’s very much humane to feel what it is we feel when something takes a different path than what we formerly imagined it to.
What is the cause?
Science indicates that our brains perceive change as an error. Change seems like an anomaly to our brain and we immediately let logic fly out the window, fearing that we might lose what is about to change. Even if the change is for the better, a certain unfamiliarity shrouds our happiness or excitement and we let fear overpower us, even if it is for a few minutes.
How do I overcome it?
Well, for starters, I have some unexplained, irrational logics in my pocket, and I use them when things seem blurry. These, I call my “Dry Fruits”. Like, when you get hungry real often so you carry around some snacks to eat, preferably healthy. They do not necessarily have to be as filling and nutritious as the main course but they sure make your hunger stable and not to mention, are tasty. “Dry fruits” are those things for me that do not have any logic or theory behind them. But, I feel better when I am having a turbulence of thoughts in me. One of them goes like “Whatever happens, happens for the best”. Another goes like “If you’re feeling uncomfortable today, you’ll feel comfort tomorrow”. And, oh my, I have so many of these!
My point being, you have to figure out what your dry fruits are. They do not have to necessarily be illogical. They can be proven, sane statements and beliefs. The most important thing is that they mean something to you.
How does one adapt to change?
For starters, you need to understand that change is the only constant thing in the universe. I am not just quoting some statement but stating a mere fact.
- Understand why the change is necessary. Figure out the positives that it involves so you can deal with it better.
- Gather knowledge about the change. How it affects you, why you wanted it, and acknowledge that it is for the best.
- Control the change. That is if it is under your control. Else, just go with the flow. 🙂
Believe in yourself. You have come a long way. Take your time. You are only human.