No-one Talks About The Other Side- Depression

I began writing this yesterday night, and I wanted to talk about a movie called Chhichhore (The Frivolous Ones) and what a beautiful message it sends out. The movie shows how everyone talks about the glorious life after success, but no one talks about what to do if at all, one fails in the endeavor.  I wrote two lines and took a pause. I felt so many things, my hands did not move so I shut the laptop down and decided to resume it in the morning.

Fast forward to an hour before I start writing this, my inbox and notifications got flooded with a piece of recent news. Sushant Singh Rajput commits suicide. My heart sank when I read it because I knew there was a chance this could be true. I proceeded to read about it and confirmed the news. I put my phone down and took a deep breath. For someone who admired him so much, this was something I could not process. Depression has done its job again, and I was dumb-founded.

Of course, the media dived in. With insensitive headlines and illogical speculations, they made this their “Story of the day”. This got me in a whirlpool of thoughts- how we often associate levels of success to inner happiness, how people start debating about if suicide was the best idea. They come up with their so-called “If I were in his place…” and “He should have…” views and choose to remain as oblivious to the whole situation as they were. 

Well, guess what? You were not in their places. What they were going through did not have a description. Depression looks different on different people and that’s exactly why it’s so hard to pinpoint and tell. With all the generalization of how -“You’re just feeling low, it’ll go away”, “Go, take a walk”, “Sleep on it!”- are frequently advised to someone who even musters the courage to talk about what they feel, and people undergoing depression really start to closet themselves. They find it hard to talk about it since they have no idea what is going on themselves. Their belief systems do not hold much water anymore for them. They lose their usual self and yet, it’s hard to say which is which. When people do things out of depression, they do not do it out of cowardice.

Very much evident from the journey of people like Robin Williams, Goo Hara, Avicii, Jonghyun, Chester Bennington that depression doesn’t leave visible symptoms, but when you observe closely, it leaves trails of signs, little calls for help; sometimes too hard for us to notice. But, all I can urge you to do is to listen. These cries for help are so loud, yet so silent. Pay attention. Be considerate and compassionate. Never dismiss anyone of how they feel. If you do not know what to say, just listen. That’s all. Urge them to take professional help, if possible. 

How many suicides will it take for us to realize that mental health is not a taboo? That one’s happiness is not defined by money and fame? That depression is real and “Don’t worry, be happy” is not the solution? 

So, here I am, writing this, doing my bit in making you realize how very real and existing depression is. Email me if you have doubts about this. I can try and clear it or forward you to someone who has a broader and better knowledge of it. 

P. S.: DM me if you want to talk about anything that’s going on in your mind. I am no expert in mental health, but I am here to listen.

RIP Sushant.

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Comments

  • Bri says:

    Wow I really love this post. The need to normalize therapy is so strong. Especially now, I think everyone should go to therapy whether or not you have been diagnosed with a mental illness. Thank you for writing this. Depression is strong but we are stronger 💕

  • Mouthy Mum says:

    You’re right. Depression comes with far too much stigma and so much denial. Not just denial from the affected party but from family and friends too, I’ve seen first hand family members of someone with depression flat out deny it because that would be too hard to deal with. Depression isn’t easy and that’s why people with that and many other MH problems NEED support x

  • Francois says:

    Really interesting post!

  • Luke Slater says:

    Depression is one of the hardest obstacles to come by, I feel pain for people who sadly do suffer from depression. I like to think we all can think positive but that’s not always the case.

  • Icanshowyoutheworld5.com says:

    This is a really good post. Your right people don’t talk about mental health enough. Or when a person asks “are you ok?” They don’t really want the honest answer, because it’s usually responded with “you’ll be ok”.
    Thank you for sharing this and raising awareness.

  • Tanya says:

    I’m afraid it’s going to take to many. It seems at some point people stopped noticing the person and just looked at the numbers. I really hope the future is better

  • Je says:

    Interesting read. Thanks for sharing!

  • Jaya Avendel says:

    I loved reading this because you talked about the thoughts you experienced so well! It is hard to put ourselves in the shoes of another, so I try never to draw conclusions about the little things effecting the life of someone who ‘appears’ to be happy.

    There are days when people tell me I am happy, yet I am not feeling that great inside, so thank you for sharing this!

  • The Wanderer Pharaoh says:

    Very interesting read! “Depression looks different on different people” well said. In a way or another,we all have our own battles with depression. Thanks for sharing

  • I'm All Booked Up says:

    This is a great post. You can’t judge based on someone’s lifestyle if they have depression or not.

  • Jennifer Van Haitsma says:

    It is very real. Chester bennington’s death his me especially hard, because Linkin Park’s music got me through a lot of hard times in high school. I listened to Hybrid Theory like 3 times a day. So sad.

  • Bella Vita Blog says:

    Thanks for your thoughts on such an important topic like mental health 💕

  • Judy Alter says:

    I am sorry about your friend. I saw that mentioned on LinkedIn, but to be honest, I didn’t know him. Your post brings up many good points. I try to stay happy 100% of the time, and I do succeed. Life is too short to waste time being unhappy.

    • He was a celebrated actor in the Bollywood film industry. It was sudden and unfortunate that he felt lonely in such a huge industry. I hope we check on our friends more often than we do now.

  • Manju SM says:

    Awesome post and I love the way you have concluded it saying you are available to listen to anyone. That’s really nice. People yearn to be listened to.

  • Ffion Cumberpatch says:

    I agree we need to normalise therapy but also we need to make it more accessible and get the word out there that it can have an incredibly positive effect on mental health. As a trainee counselor this is a very important topic to me.

  • Lauren says:

    Such a great post! Talking about such an important topic! Thank you for sharing.

  • Rayo says:

    When depression hits, it hits different. That’s why it’s not a good idea to dismiss someone else’s feelings and tell them they have it better and others are worse off. It’s really depressing when we fail to listen. Thank you for this important post and sharing it

  • Amber Page says:

    This is such an important post! I am so glad I read it I feel like so many people need to read this and learn!

    Amber – https://theunpredictedpage.com

  • Unwanted Life says:

    From the title alone I wasn’t sure where this post was going to go, but after reading the post it all made sense. Depression can affect anyone, even successful people who reach all their life goals, that’s just how depression works. It can be hard to movie in others, and all to often depression takes a life before we even become aware that there was a problem to begin with

    Unwanted Life

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